My three-year-old has exclaimed, “I am the fastest runner!”, “I am a great drawer, Mom!”, and if you give her a compliment she says “yeah, I know.” When do we lose this unwavering self-confidence? Is it slowly sucked out of us by society, or those around us setting “realistic expectations”? I don’t want my kids to wait until they are adults to truly learn that they are smart.
Society hooked on Self-Help
Have you noticed the overabundance of self-help books and personal coaches and trainers out there today? It makes me wonder, how we can raise up our “chicks” better so they don’t have to “fix themselves” as an adult?
Self-improvement should be an ongoing thing, and bettering oneself self is a worthy goal, but perhaps we are going about it the wrong way. We are a society that is obsessed with fixing all of our faults instead of growing our strengths.
Grow Your Strengths
Often when we compare ourselves to others we are taking a weakness of our own and comparing it to another’s strength. In our homeschool we would be wise to focus more on our children’s strengths rather than their weaknesses. Not only will this build confidence but they will become better at what they are already good at. Why would God give us strengths just for us to ignore them and work on our weaknesses? And better yet, what if working on our God-given talents built up those weaknesses as a natural side effect?
My oldest will not do anything she does not see as worthwhile or that does not bring her personal gain. But when she sees something she wants, she will go after it with her all and fight till the end! It is not that she cannot do the hard things, she just needs the right motivation. With the right motivation, my late-to-rise homebody girl can rise to the challenge, set an alarm, and be ready to go at the crack of dawn.
What ignites your child’s fire? What gets them excited to take action? External motivators like people-pleasing, candy, and sticker charts will get your kids only so far and perhaps create some unhealthy habits. What we are looking for is an internal drive. You need to find out what inspires them and spurs them to action. Focus on their strengths and passions and my guess is you will see them stretching themselves in other areas you didn’t know how to tackle.
Problems become Opportunities
In our home we often hear the excuse, “but the problem is______,” and we have come to reply, “yes, the opportunity is ______.”
Words matter and they can influence our perspective on things. By calling “problems” “opportunities”, they no longer feel like roadblocks, but something that not only can be overcome but that should be taken on.
Flip the “What ifs”
Doubt is one of our biggest “opportunities” or hurdles that can keep us from succeeding or even trying. By flipping the “what ifs” to the contrary, we can play the same game with a new perspective.
What if I fail? becomes——>What if I succeed?
What if they don’t like me? becomes——>What if I make a new friend?
We can forget to take the blinders off and look at things from an opposing point of view. There are two sides to every coin. As I teach my children to “flip the coin”, I am also learning to see things from the other side myself. This practice of looking at things from the opposite perspective is a tool our society has long forgotten how to use in the art of persuasion, replaced by feelings and emotions. By teaching our kids to see things from both sides of an issue. Not only will this help them approach “opportunities” with confidence, but they will be better equipped to tackle bigger issues and defend their beliefs as they get older.
Practicing Patience
Practicing patience is tough enough as a kid, but in this world of immediate gratification, it has become an even tougher skill to master. Finding ways to build this patience muscle is good for the whole family. Patience has become tougher to teach, but more important as we immediately run to Google with every question and impatiently wait for our “delayed” Amazon deliveries.
Things often take longer than we realize. Our perception of time has been skewed some by modern technology. If you don’t see immediate success, do you quit or keep going? By building the patience muscle, we also exercise the “work ethic” muscle and the “perseverance” muscle.
Practical Exercises for Patience
Make a “Done list”– We often don’t see all of the small steps we took toward success unless we look back a little. When the “to do” list seems endless and unsurmountable, keep a list of things as you complete them to look back upon and see how far you have come.
Progress over perfection – We can all get caught up in perfectionism at some point and if it can’t be done perfectly, then why try at all? Because something done imperfectly is better than something not even tried.
Improve 1% – How doable is a 1% improvement? If we just attempt to improve one little thing each day, that adds up to 365% over a course of a year. Baby steps seem insignificant at the time but back to the “to done” list, they can be life-changing when put together.
Technology– Working smarter not harder can sometimes include technology. Oftentimes we are smart to limit our kid’s technology time. We can get so stuck in the mindset of limiting tech time though, that we are only letting them play games and veg out with shows instead of teaching worthwhile skills in the digital world. We want to keep our kids safe online, but have we taught them how to do this? Teaching handwriting is great, but teaching them to type at the same time will serve them better down the road. Teach that technology is a tool to be treated with respect and let them explore spreadsheets with math, slide shows for reports, learn how to navigate a meeting environment with manners, and how to write a professional email (or text).
Different Types of Intelligence
Don’t forget that intelligence comes in many forms. Be on the lookout for what your own strengths are, and especially your children so you can help them tap into their natural gifts as they learn and grow. Find more details at https://www.lifehack.org/886292/types-of-intelligence
- Visual-spatial: Good at reading maps, sense of direction, can visualize objects in a space, easily identify patterns, and interpret charts and graphs.
- Linguistic-Verbal: Great with words, writing them, speaking them, communication, and wordplay.
- Logical-Mathematical: mathematically minded, good with numbers, logic, problem-solving, and a conceptual thinker.
- Bodily-Kinesthetic: excels in movement and body control, sports, eye-hand coordination, and spatial awareness.
- Musical: ability to keep a steady beat, recognize rhythms and patterns in music, in tune with the tune (pun intended), enjoys listening to and creating music.
- Interpersonal: a “people person,” relates well to others on an emotional level, sensitive, aware of others’ needs and feelings, good communicator, and facilitator.
- Intrapersonal: self-aware, introspective, thoughtful, philosophical, and in tune with own emotions.
- Naturalistic: in tune with nature, drawn to nature and sensitive to subtle changes in the environment, finds refreshment from and naturally drawn to the outdoors.
- Pedagogical: teachers, good at communicating and explaining to others, and can easily convey information to others.
Not too dissimilar from being aware of our learning styles, knowing how our mind works best can fuel how we utilize our intelligence and work with others. Don’t be afraid to step up when it comes to your natural gifts. Likewise, be quick to point them out when you see your children utilizing theirs, and encourage them in new ways to practice them.
Do Hard Things and Lead by Example
The best part of homeschooling my children, by far, is how much I have learned along the way. My hope and prayer is that the next generation will be better than we were, and they will then do the same for their kids, and so on, and so forth. The best way to teach them though is to lead by example and show them how to do hard things.
Often we say (even without words) “do as I say, not as I do.” Our kids have a great way of holding us accountable just by their very existence. When we give them instructions or teach a new skill, the best teaching tool is to be the change so they can see it in action, and they will quickly learn to point out otherwise.
Do you do hard things? Do you challenge yourself daily? Are you learning a new skill or hobby?
This year we are tackling together:
Learning the ukelele (tour dates TBD, haha!)
Taking spontaneous micro-adventures
Micro gardening and growing our own food
Starting a non-profit organization to support the homeschool community—–>
Stay Tuned!
I have put off too long (over a year) starting a non-profit organization that is near and dear to our hearts. Could it fail miserably? Absolutely. Could I succeed beyond my wildest dreams? Quite possibly.
Our new homeschool foundation is in the works and we plan to make this part of our homeschool curriculum to teach our kids to do hard things, step out of their comfort zones, and invest in the people around them.
Our Vision
- Giving back to the growing homeschool community that has supported us and lifted us up in tough times.
- Making technology accessible to those who cannot afford it by recycling older laptops into Chromebooks
- Providing low-cost and high-value solutions for home educators and Co-ops, and training the next generation to navigate technology with professionalism, wisdom, and confidence.
- Assist homeschoolers with financial scholarships and supplies to maintain continuity in education for families going through seasons of hardship.
Related posts
Why your Co-op needs G Suite for Education and how to get it for free
Ultimate List: How to Homeschool for Free
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